The LC on the DL

I have been living at the hospital lately with a sick little one. Nothing much else going on in life as everything else is currently on hold.

What one year of your life would you like to re-live, if you were given the chance?
Submitted by Ross. 

When I first read this question I had a few incidents fly through my mind that I would like to handle differently. Hindsight you know? But I can’t really do that because each incident affects who you are on such a grand scale I am not willing to risk things on modifying them. To relive a whole year, wow, that is just too much. What if I screwed stuff up so bad I didn’t get one of my children? Know matter the mistakes I have made or the hardships I have faced, I am not willing to risk my children on the chance to go back.

On the bright side of the question, I suppose I might consider reliving a marvelous year just to get a chance to have a marvelous year again? The only problem there is I can’t narrow it down to just ONE year. I need a few. I would love to be able to spend more time with each of my children from birth to now and in the future. Maybe I don’t even want to relive things… even good things can be changed. Did you ever see the Adam Sandler movie, “Click”, I think was the name of it? Bad news came from that remote. Bad news. Left him with nothing but regrets.

Can I just have a clone of myself? I can send the clone off to work and out to do icky chores and spend more time just loving on my kids. That would be awesome.

I have been in utter girlie mode lately. Shopping sprees (well not exactly sprees, just buying good pieces here and there), pink, organizing my bags, jewlery (other than my cat5 bracelet), going through my closets trying on outfits and shoes, playing with my makeup. I don’t really do this that often, but when I get into girl mode, watch out! haha I might even paint my toenails next. Oh horror of horrors. (Too late, I already did. They are a gorgeous shade of copper!)

Actually, I am usually pretty laid back. I like to look nice and I refuse to leave the house in sweats. I do have a few track suits that I have left the house in, but it is a rare occation. Typically I am just to busy working or taking care of the house and kids, or learning about some new OS, old OS, application, or internet site to have time for the girlie things.

Maybe living with my mom again has brought it out. I don’t typically have girl friends. All my friends are computer geek guys. I love them to death, but it is hard to be girlie when surrounded by guys and geek stuff all the time. I love being a geek. I guess I would like to be a feminine geek. I was always trying to prove my talent in the past and didn’t want to be noticed as a girl. I would like to embrace the girlie geekness and am working on that one step at a time I suppose.

Why can’t I be a fashionista and a system admin? Why can’t I debate the great linux flavors while texting from my pink phone? Why can’t I run network lines in heels? (BTW, if you get good shoes, heels can be comfortable and there have been many an occation where I have run cable and racked servers in them!!)

I am confident. I am a woman. I am beautiful. I am a geek. ROAR! rawr! ;)  haha I guess at 30, I am still finding myself.